Its time

Before even beginning to write this, I already am battling myself on the choice I am going to make.

For almost a year, I keep having to fight over the fact that I should be a good husband and a lousy friend. A better man and not a team player. A solo guy and not a club member.

For the longest time, I told myself that I would choose my family and my career first because those matter so much to me. I was working steadily (I wouldn't say hard), I always chose to make the time for the office and my family. Not really putting aside my own interests but more like putting them down to a crawl.

I made it a point to be there when everyone needs me. Always be there for my family. Saying no to everything else. When I have any free time to myself. I try to indulge in my sinful want to do what I want. Which is mostly tinkering with my bike.

Unfortunately, I am one with many interests. I own a car club with some loyal members, I have lots of friends which I ignore a lot because I don't have time, I am a biker club member which I never have the time to go to.

My excuse for the past was always that I'll do them later because I want my life to balance out. So I chose my family first. Now that I see my family has finally become stable and things are quite ok. I am thinking it is time for me to do the me thing.

My bike is practically finished and about to go for a test run. And I have made arrangements with my wife that I will go to my bike club meetings every other week. Because I am the boss of my own car club, I can set meeting dates whenever I want. And I will have slots for my wife too.

Now that all this is planned out, all I have to do is do it… I really hope it works. I know its going to be hard at first… but I know I can do this. I miss my friends, my bikes, my cars. And I love my family too. We should put money on this to see who wins… I almost gave up my club before because I was always with them. But with age, I think I have come to figure out how to balance all of this.

I love all of you.