Frustrated

Not everything I say has a deeper meaning then what is actually being said. Frustration sets in when people can actually step back and listen to me and understand me. When you are someone I deeply care about, I don't have any hidden agendas or meanings in everything I say.

Because of the way I am to everyone else, everyone over processes and over interprets my words and meaning. These are times when I get so frustrated and disappointed that I can actually sit and have tears run down my cheeks.

Why wont anyone listen to what I'm saying? Why doesn't anyone care that I really just need support. Sometimes I feel so alone. Sometimes, I get support, but only verbally. I keep getting doors to my goals but with the challenge knowing that I cant do it. Its hard to explain. Its like knowing I don't have the money for the investment but telling me "sure u can invest, if u have the cash".

I don't want to work for anyone anymore. I'm not saying I am going to quit right now, but I need a hand. And no one wants to give me a hand.

I wish there was something I could do. I have had so many great ideas. So many which others had cashed in on. Its hard seeing my ideas being passed on as someone elses. But I give the, away because I know I cant afford to make it happen. In the end, I just get to see that those were my dreams and ideas that no one will ever know were mine. And no one would believe me either.

If you are reading this with an open mind, all I want is for you to really be supportive. You are my partner in everything I do. I need you a lot and will fail if you don't have my back.