Rolling along

Well, I had gotten my bike back, the major flaw in the body had been fixed (I hope) and I have been a busy bee.

I know everyone says this about their wife but, my wife really rocks. She's a sweet lil girl that's always by my side.

Just the other day, as I was being glum due to the fact that someone had ditched his promise in helping me, my wife stepped in and decided to help me by getting tools and stuff. While I was there sitting half the day on the floor meddling with miles and miles of wires, she was there by my side in an empty livingroom just reading a book. Yea, my wife is sweet like that.

Well, I'm back in night shift once again, so my life will be slightly screwed up. But I'm not all too depressed about it as I constantly look forward to the weekends.

Greasy hands, wiring, sounds of engines roaring, electronics working the way its supposed to. Nothing can be more right at the moment. Thinking back when I had to quietly mod my car with the excuse that it was faulty was madness. I never had the time to do anything but wait hand and foot to someone I didn't care about. This is why I knew it was all wrong. Someone who loves you would let you do what you want no matter what, but still give you a reminder of the reality that is there. She does that very well. She lets me do anything I want knowing that as long as I know what is right and she gives me a gentle reminder to not go too far, its all good.

There is no greater satisfaction in anything then being able to do the work you want to do even if it puts u in elbow deep grease and grime. You get little cuts and bruises, smell like you were living in a trucks exhaust for a day, be awfully exhausted yet you feel that you have never been happier. That is how I feel when I am trying to figure out what goes where while sitting on a dirty floor. Following my estimations, my bike should be ready very soon. Well, ready to ride that is. In reality, it will never be complete. I will always have other ideas in which I would like to apply to my bike, yet, with limited resources, tools and time, it would just be nice to be able to ride it with its current design.

This post today is generally a short one just to tell my wife how much I appreciate her support in me doing my own thing. There is a saying that "a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do", but the thing is, doing it with no support from the people who matter the most is the same as not doing it at all. With my wife by my side while I succeed in all of the things I wish I could do and can do, it is the most rewarding feeling.

Although I do wish that this would be what I did for a living, I am just happy that I am given the chance to do what I can do with the time I have. For further expectations in this line, I guess we shall wait and see where life takes me. I believe that life is starting to give me a hand in all this. And maybe, just maybe, if you can ride out the storm, you may be able to see a clearer future? Who knows. All I know is that right now, I doubt my storms have subsided, instead I'm probably in the eye of the storm, but it's a taste of what clear blue skies would look like once it is over. This "storm" also showed me a lot about who is a true friend and who are not. People you had thought you would never be acquaintances with are actually the ones with the deepest philosophy in life and would be the pillars of strength for you to hold on. While others just sit and stare at you from the top of the food chain just because they can. Watching you while you tumble and fall and spin around like you were in a clothes dryer of life. Then when you get out, they rekindle with you saying they were there, watching from afar.

Through this year alone, I have seen so many people come and go from my life, some come back when the troubles are gone, some came in when there were troubles just to help and when they see things are better, they fade into the background. In my lifetime, each time I change a scenery or location of a batch of friends, I will meet one of these "background" friends. Usually, these people are there, friends you just made and sometimes forgot, but when trouble comes, like heroes, they come out of the woodwork to help you. They help in so many ways, listen, give you a hand, they talk to you when no one else would, some treat you like a human when the rest tossed you aside like trash. Each time I have met one who have been a hero to me at a time. Each bad event, bringing out one of these unsung heroes in my life. 3 of these are now my best friends. These 3 had individually been there for me when I was at my lowest.

But, this most recent of all storms, I have come to know that there are so many whom had been there for me. As the ties to key people fell due to the fact that they were showing true colors, friends I had thought I believed in had left me all alone. To fend for myself. At this point, I had believed that there was no one there for me anymore, no more heroes to come rescue my broken psyche. Then it started, I just randomly started making friends with one biker, then another, then a friend from the car scene was there to lend a shoulder, my wife who was by my side was there all along too. Mechanics whom I had only heard of became a friend and stepped forward, and later on, a higher class of motorcycle clan just took me in as one of them. All these mixed together to support me, they really made me feel like a part of a family.

Finally in KL, I had found my family again. It brought back great feelings of joy and togetherness. The last time I had felt this way was when I was back in Penang, where there was a time I was shunned by family. And a band of friends took their place to give me brothers and sisters to keep me going.

Life is looking up. Let there be a storm, I have a family who cares about me, I fear nothing. I can feel the upstream battle may be showing rewards at last. Maybe, just maybe, I am reaching the origin of the river? Who knows.

This short post is for those who stood by me and gave me hope.

I love you all.