Been having a good weekend with the wife last week, I knows she likes Twilight the book, so I thought I'd bring her to the movie (not the best show on earth, even she said so but at least I got an A for effort). The following day we had gone to Curve because I surprised her with a sushi lunch buffet at Senjyu. Quite an expensive place, we ate there before and I know she likes it. So we had a 2 hour lunch there and stuffed ourselves silly. Now, if you know me, you will know I don't do sushi very well. And I hell wont eat raw fish. This is the only place I can eat raw fish and keep it down without the urge to want to throw up. That's how good it is.
Anyway, after our date, we had gone to my new house to continue cleaning up so we can furnish it soon (not really a race, so we're taking it slow). When we were on the way home, my wife asked me a very interesting question that had got me thinking till now: "what was your fondest memory with her (Melissa, my exgf)?". About to answer like I knew it from the back of my head, I opened my mouth to speak and realized that… I had no idea.. I have fond memories of some other exes but not her.
All the way back home, I was thinking about it, and all I could remember was the fights, the yelling, the screaming and all of that. The funniest thing was, I was going to say that the fondest memory I had of her was when she left… but that wasn't a fond memory WITH her…. it was a memory of being set free after so long. I was happy… but not with her. so I continued thinking… I still couldn't get anything.
We had a 7 year relationship, and not a single memory pops up in mind on anything that she did that made me happy. Was it that I forgot? Or was there none? The funny thing is that when I think about it, my happy memories were always when I was without her, with friends like Danny, Gerry, Johnson, or when she went away to work for awhile, I was alone and happy.
I even remember that the time we found out she had finally vacated my house, I was overjoyed.. it was a feeling like a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders. The feeling of being set free, like a prisoner that was bound with cuffs in solitary confinement banned from seeing anyone finally released after doing his time, yet… its not a fond memory WITH her at all.
It has been 3 days since that question was asked, and though I am busy with moving along in my life, I can't help but stop and look back for awhile trying to see if there was any fond memories with her.
…. Nope, still nothing.
By Vy
12 comments:
u scored A++ for the whole weekend...
oh gosh~ you're still thinking about that question??? my memory had thrown it out the window by the time we got home that night... lol~
well.. i was quite surprised with the fact i didnt have any fond memories at all....
You said you are free.You think so? Badmouth-ing your ex doesn't give you the extra mile to show you are but rather a reflection of your own reality. A man who claims all his exes are 'psycho' should ask himself why he lived off of them for years and years and years and years. Aren't you afraid of being slashed in your sleep by these 'demented' women? You should be thanking you exes for showing you the person you don't want to be with in future.
tigress: i dont go around bad mouthing my exes.. sorry... only one whom i had the unfortunate time of 7 years to spend with. AND only ONE is psycho...
to answer ur question, i was afraid of being stabbed in my sleep last time when i was with her, thats why i always pretended to sleep until i was sure she was sleeping. only then did i fall asleep. i do thank her alot for being my ex, and i thank god everyday she remains my ex for she has shown me who i should have been with in the first place. thats why, thanks to her, i got to marry my wife.
btw tigress, if you really know me, you would know that i only ever regretted meeting only one woman in my life.
also, a little history lesson for those who didnt know, this blog was originally created when i was WITH that woman. thats why the name of the blog is what it is and my user name is what it is now. otherwise, it would have been different. i kept this name and blog name because i wanted it to remind me of the hell i went through and to remember to be thankful for having what i never had when i was with her.
Then again my question is why those seven years? You could just pack and leave in a month like you claimed you did. Why the waiting? When you call her your ex "psycho", have you thought that it reflect on you as a psycho as well? It takes a psycho to stay with another psycho for seven years.
PS: I've read your previous post, I feel you are still trapped in her shadow even though you claimed that you are happily married. Just a passerby to give some thoughts.
tigress:
the first few years i had thought things would be much better or maybe she would have grown up, or maybe even me.. but well, it didnt happen. as time went on, i was trapped. tried breaking up, but would only get anger fits and things like that. well, i also would guess that the others didnt give me enough drive to just kick her out of my house. my wife says that i always have too much sympathy, like just before it finally ended, i tried kicking her out but thought of the fact that it was at night and she didnt have anywhere to go. but finally enough is enough. so that was it.
as for living in her shadow, i think you got it wrong slightly.
all i can say is "love for the game"
and you are always welcome to come and put in your comments... (btw, removed 2 of your duplicate posts)
If I'm wrong then I guess you won't be dedicating a full page just to say how a psycho your ex is or how you have no fond memories of the bitch. I read through your post, it should be sometime or maybe years ago after you claimed you kick her out from your house. shouldn't bury the past and talk about your future plans with your wifey? Say like having kids and so on. Thoughts about exes after such long period clearly proves you are still living in her shadow. No offence but I'm just stating my opinion.
Love for the game. You just called yourself an asshole with statement. Sorry but somehow I feel for your ex bitch.
tigress: feel, think, assume as you like... it's simple up to you... we dont and wont stop you from doing that... all i can say is that, you were not there, all you can do is make assumptions from what you think it is and what you thought would and should have been... but please, feel free to continue to read the blog... if it was not entertaining to you, you would not have gone through most of the previous posts...
and this blog is definitely dedicated to what tormented_soul thinks and feels at the point of time when he puts in down in black & white...
you know, if writing about his life when he was or when he left his ex once awhile, to you or anyone out there sounds like he was still in her shadow, or that it meant to you that he has not been discussing his future with me... my guess will be that you have and had purposely skipped all other posts that is not related to his ex... the rest are not entertaining enough to catch your attention???
tigress: i never said i wasnt an asshole, and if i am anything, asshole is the nicest thing anyone can say about me. the fact of the matter is, that life is what made me an asshole. i wouldnt wanna try explaining it to you, because its too long and im quite sure most of it is already in there... but it doesnt matter if you think of me as anything, because i dont know you and dont really care. but do please continue reading any updates if you wish.
adeline:
dont worry about it, there will always be haters out there and one just happen to drop by. doesnt mean much to me because this blog isnt really for the readers, its just for me to write whatever i want. you dont have to be offended by what others say. btw.. she was talking abt kids.. hahahaha... obviously she doesnt know us.
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